Before you had Imp, did you ever think you'd be a father?

No. I was always fairly actively against ever becoming a parent at all after the shit I'd been through growing up, I didn't care for the idea of bringing another person into this world and having to try and guide them through all of that when I'm still a short-circuit myself a lot of the time. All the sociopolitical failures, the ecological nightmare we're creating, the way humans treat each other... none of it seemed like anything I wanted to bring another human being into.

Nevermind the spectre of having grown up with "two mommies" myself in the 70s and 80s and how that fucked with my life, and not wanting another kid to have the same social bullshit with having "two daddies".

But there are compromises you make in a relationship, and so it happened, and I'm doing the best I can with her. It's still terrifying. We're lucky to have the support of our parents and a lot of good friends in raising her -- her "Aunties" who can give her the feminine influences and insight when she wants them are absolutely vital. We'd be completely fucked without their help, advice, presence and patience.

There are a lot of nights I'm kept awake with the "what the hell am I doing??..." cycle of thoughts, especially as she's hitting adolescence, all the pre-teen drama, worrying for her safety and sanity.
I joke about being the stereotypical dad cleaning his guns on the porch, but the truth is I'm not all that far from really being that.

Have at it.