I'm not trying to be judgemental I'm just curious why do you listen to their music if you don't want reminders?

There's a strange kind of strength in being able to scream along in the car, or in your room, or at a concert, to words that reflect who you are and what you've become as a result of someone else's inhumanity.

That you're NOT the only one, that someone else knows and understands - that's invaluable. Those songs say the things I can't, every single day, and if just for those four minutes I'm being honest with the world it's worth it for the other hours I have to keep up the masks and the defenses. It lets off the pressure.

You have to be careful with that though.

Bono once wrote a line "...Many lost who seek to find themselves in me; they ask me to reveal the very thoughts they'd conceal." That's stayed with me too, a caution not to try and find too much there.

Sometimes those songs are laced with darkness, yes. But others bring a bit of hope, even if only in companionship, a way to keep going when it all looms much too large to ever feel like you can make it through. You hear the cliche "this song saved my life" a bit too often, I think... it's become somewhat meaningless in its overuse, so I try to avoid it.

It's obviously not all I listen to; as you point out, O anon, I don't want the reminders all the time. But I can seek them out when I need them. The ones that stay with me the most -- those get inked on. The fact that the man that wrote those lyrics autographed them right there on my skin means even more. I told him why, when I asked him if he'd be willing. He wrapped his hand around my arm, his thumb crossed the biggest scar - that wasn't an accident. Now that signature is inked there too. Some call it obsessed - for me it's a reminder. Not alone in this.

We all have to find our own ways through, or else we give up, commit a kind of suicide -- sometimes actual, physical, sometimes spiritual. One just happens a little faster.

Have at it.