I don't THINK I've asked this before - what influenced your choice of name for your daughter?

Means "dream" in Irish Gaelic. Put it together...

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Have you ever had a stalker?

Yeah. Two... one when I was a teenager, long before the internet version or whatever. The other was while I was in college.

The first one was a guy who lived in the neighborhood; my dad made him go away when I finally told him what was going on... small hint: do NOT fuck with the Viet Nam veteran's kids.

The second... was my ex, le sigh.

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Is there anything you're disappointed that you haven't been asked about?

Nah. I'll take whatever shows up, whether it merits a real answer or a mocking...

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Married, not dead...precisely!!! *sorry, just had to comment on that ;) *

*cackles*

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How do you handle mothers' day with your kid?

It's sort of a non-event, usually we get together with my moms and it's a day out with "two grandmas" instead.

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When asked where is the place you want to travel most, what first comes to mind?

Scotland/Ireland. I wanna go back so bad it hurts.

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Who does most of the cooking in your house?

We swap off; I have celiac disease so if it's something I'm going to be eating it's a whole different set of issues than if it's just for the other two; he tends to do more of the general cooking simply because I don't eat much in the first place.

Have at it.

you seem to have a pretty big crush on Bill though

Married, not dead...

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Do you have any pets?

Five cats, two dogs, and a bunny. Also several houseplants which sort of count as pets...

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do you have a crush (secret or otherwise) on any of your lj or twitter friends

No. I'm terrifyingly monogamous. Scorpio thing. Either we can't be faithful at all, or we lock onto one person and never look away again.

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If Georg were a plant, what plant would he be?

Oak tree, most definitely.

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what are the rest of the rules?

1. No kid around.
2. NO FOOD. Uggghhhh.
3. No pets around. Nothing like suddenly having a cat on your back.... :x

Have at it.

I've never really talked to you at all, and I'm never really on lj anymore, but I really just wanted to tell you that you are one of my favorite people ever, and I love reading your answers :)

aaw... wish you'd come back to LJ, then...

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If you could have only one thing back from the accident of 2000, what would it be?

Reversing the brain injury. I could live with the back pain and everything else, but I'd like the mental function I lost back more than anything else.

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Quack. And a mullet? HEEEE

it's not quack that bothers me.. it's that hissing wheezing THING he did... the goddamn thing legit sounded like vader on a bad day...

and yeah, my hair in that era? blame Bono.

Have at it.

wth is the duck thing/

In-joke with a friend... it's hard to explain... has to do with a psychotic duck my motherinlaw owned for several years, the thing was demon posessed, I'm not even kidding, he chased a priest out of their driveway hissing and screaming... yeah.

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what difference does being cut/uncut make?

Major difference in sensitivity, mostly.

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Did you ever have a mullet?

Terrifyingly, yes, sort of. Spiked on top, long in the back, shaved sides. IT WAS 1987 OKAY DON'T JUDGE ME.

.....lol XD

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Don't you want me, baby?

You know I don't believe it when you say that you don't need me...

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Where do you live and what is one interesting thing that every tourist should do/see there?

LOL, where I live, the town itself there's nothing to see but a dinky little New England farm town, but as far as Boston proper or the state? Ooohhh.. Museums, clubs, the Arboretum, the state parks, the beaches, PROVINCETOWN <333333333

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did you ever took the little blue pill?

Nope, never have, don't plan to, haven't needed to.

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are you completley gay or are there still women you'd fuck?

well.. I'm monogamous so it's something of a moot point, but I used to call myself omnisexual; just in that I'm attracted to a person for who they are, not their bits.

I know way too many transfolk - and well, being genderqueer myself affects this - to base attraction solely on what I think someone's packing in their shorts.

and to address the specific question, I can certainly appreciate a gorgeous woman and I tell my female friends they're hawt, but I can't think of any I'd want that way. I don't know if that would be different if I wasn't in the relationship I'm in.

Have at it.

would you ever get your cock tattooed?

Who says it isn't already?

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what's the weirdest thing you've ever used as lube?

Well, I didn't actually use it, but my ex once wanted to use freaking BACON GREASE and I was just ....okay I can't even get it up OR unclench anymore now, go the fuck away.....

I was -so- grossed out. UGH.

Have at it.

When you've answered 1000 of these you should take them and publish them as a book of sex wisdoms, I bet it would sell well! :D that book that sprung from the ShitMyDadSays twitter account is doing fabulously, and your advice is definitely more useful.

LOL, thank you :3 Bit more narrow of an audience tho, ne?

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omg lol public sex thats so badass. did you get caught?

Not to my knowledge, although there was one incident out in a field when a small private plane flew overhead... :x

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ever had sex in a car, or in a public place?

yes, and yes...

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Not sure how much you've done with girls - any suggestions, for things girls could try during sex to make it more awesome for guys?

next to zero experience there. and to address the usual cliche, from what I know it can take a fair bit of convincing to get a straight guy to let you stick a finger up his ass, nevermind you yourself knowing what do do once you're in there; otherwise it's about as "intimate" as a medical exam. and for all that, he may discover he's amongst the part of the male population that just doesn't get much enjoyment from prostate stim, or may actively dislike it.

but no matter who you are and who you're with, you need to remember the mind is as important as any other body part as far as having awesome sex goes, and possibly the trickiest to stimulate properly, but as the saying goes.. get the mind going and the rest will follow.

Have at it.

No food? As lube? What about whipped cream? xD I keep hearing it said in fics, that it contains some of the same ingredients as lube. True or false?

No food where sex is concerned, full stop. Just.. ick.
Like, I won't often read anything tagged 'food play', it just grosses me out.

Whipped cream... well for one it sometimes has sugar in it, and that's a MAJOR no for me; as for elements of lube I have no idea on that, there's certainly neither petrolatum or silicone in it and those are your two fundamental choices...

Have at it.

What the hell is rule 2? And is there a rule one? Or any other rules?

Rule 2: No food.

There are others, but not many.

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What the hell is rule 2? And is there a rule one? Or any other rules?

Rule 2: No food.

There are others, but not many.

Have at it.

What would you like to see a fic about?

Mmm... There's already one with my favorite "pet pairing" in the works out there, and I'm working on a few myself, but I'd still looooove to see more TH/AFI crossover work in general out there. Though I realize that's hard when someone isn't familiar with the band... Um.

Aside of that... given recent ranting, someday I'd really like to see a BDSM story done well, true to the actual lifestyle.

Have at it.

Mom's rising sign is Capricorn. Very very VERY much a perfectionist. Can be good or bad. Is it hard sometimes being with an earthy person (sometimes they have trouble expressing feelings) when you yourself have quite a bit of water going on?

very, it's incredibly frustrating at times to have to operate on a "saying nothing means everything's fine" mentality when you really could use a little reassuring.

Have at it.

Benefits and drawbacks of living with a Virgo? (My mom's a Virgo. I'd like to know your take on Virgos)

+ Once they decide they're there for you, they are; like a fucking rock, like crazy glue, like concrete. Dedication unmatched.

- The self-absorption can be a bit much at times. They forget to unwrap from themselves once in awhile and realize other people have feelings and opinions, which are different from theirs. They can be incredibly wrapped up in themselves and not even realize it; it's just how they are.

+ They don't surprise you much; they're fairly predictable and reliable in how they'll react and respond to things.

- Very stuck in their ways; "hidebound" as some put it, and doing something any other way than theirs is the wrong way.


All of this is heavily influenced by rising sign, mind you, like any sun sign characteristic; for example, in my case I'm dealing with a double dose of stubbornness because not only is there the Virgo "MY WAY OR THE HIGHWAY" he's Taurus rising... urf.

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Oh my god you two are so cute! Do you braid each others hair and do other cute couple stuff?

I do his hair when he's gotta look good for work, if that's what you mean... but we've never been much for the cutesy stuff. A Virgo and a Scorpio... not so much.

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What kind of wedding band do you have? Is it just plain or pretty?

Plain white-gold band, engraved on the inside with the date and our initials.

We were both proletarians when we got married, and we're both strongly against the use of blood diamonds. So something with gems in it was neither practical nor desired. Not to mention we didn't have a lot of money.

So they are plain, yes, just simple white gold. But I love what they stand for.

We're hoping to have enough spare cash to add a small titanium band for our 15th anniversary. We'd meant to do it for our 10th but the money wasn't there.

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How often do you have sex anyway? I thought marriage and kids and stuff was supposed to kill your sex life

Lies, all lies.

Refer to a few questions below, where I stated I don't NEED to jerk off... yeah. I'm all set, trust me.

Has to do with putting the work into your marriage... don't take for granted that the spark stays lit. You have to keep it alive somehow. It's hard work sometimes, not gonna lie. You have to be mindful. Make time for each other. A million little things rather than a few big ones makes all the difference, even if it's just a butt squeeze when he gets home and mentioning the fit of his jeans is rather nice... we'll be together sixteen years in August; that doesn't happen all by itself.

Have at it.

Worst experience with allergies and sex?

LATEX. *shudder*

Have at it.

nonoxynol-9 is evil *shudders*

it seriously is.. I'm allergic to it, found that out the fun way when I bought something that had it in it by accident... AUGH.

Lesson: READ THE FUCKING LABEL.

Have at it.

Do you have a favorite brand of lube?

honestly, anything silicone based and without nonoxynol-9 is a good thing.

though there are some fancier ones out there I do indulge in when I can get/afford them.

Have at it.

Best and worst parts of being a Scorpio?

I do dig the whole dark-sexy vibe we can get going.

The obsessiveness and perfectionism... gets to be a downer after awhile.

Have at it.

Can you sleep with the closet door open?

sure... xcept it's moot because right now my boxes of comic books are piled in front of it...

Have at it.

I love how you are like the Guru of Love and Lube. xDD While we're at it, what's the best kind of lube? Astroglide, or something else?

That all depends entirely on what you're doing and for how long...

Have at it.

Is there anything you absolutely shouldn't use as lube? And does butter work? Fics always seem to suggest that butter could work

If you don't have to worry about condoms possibly degrading, your options are a lot broader.

NOT SOAP. EVER. OH GOD OW. It seems like a good idea at the time, if you're in the shower, but you will SO regret it later.

Same with moisturizing lotion type things. Fine for whacking off.. not so much for anything else.

Nothing with any kind of sugar, glucose, whatever in it. BAD idea. You see this in some massage oils, especially the 'edible' types... this is more of an issue if you're uncut, though it can be bad for your arse as well. Sugar breeds candida infections.

Getting a yeast infection under the foreskin is a hideous experience; happened to my brother, which he'd caught from his GF at the time and was too embarrassed to go to our dad about it... big brother to the rescue. Oiyyy.

Olive oil, any other vegetable based oils can work in a pinch; Crisco is the classic bathhouse cliche.

I personally wouldn't use butter or anything else animal-based, never have, so I couldn't tell you if it'd work. It sounds really awful though.

Have at it.

Creative how?

Well, back in the day, the bathhouses used to keep cans of Crisco around...

When you don't have to worry about condoms your options suddenly broaden, at least in a time like that.

However, Rule 2 still stands.

Have at it.

Clinic volunteer? Woah. Didn't think it was possible to respect you any more than I already do. How did you manage not to punch them back?

because doing so would 1) not help the women i was there to protect and 2) I'm not going to sink to their level.

Have at it.

Running out of lube generally, or being horny as hell and suddenly discovering you've run out of lube?

well obviously the latter is by far worse... but one gets creative in times of need, you know? nice thing about being sixteen years monogamous..

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Scenario: You wake up in the middle of the night to find a duck staring intently at you through your bedroom window. What do you do?

Depends what kind of duck...
one of those Muscovy motherfuckers? KILL IT WITH FIRE KILL IT KILL IT KILL KILL KILL AAAIIEEEE...

uhm. yeah. Otherwise, wonder how in hell there's a duck looking through my bedroom window when we're on the second floor...

Have at it.

Continuing in the relationship theme - what would you say is the worst thing about having a same-sex partner? [Aside from other people's reactions. That's a given]

Running out of lube.

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Have you ever stepped in to break up a fight? Would you, given the chance?

I have worked as a volunteer at women's clinics as part of the security crew during those idiotic protests; these are people who would physically try to stop those women from going into the clinic and I was between them, and taken my share of shoves and punches for it; does that count?

I can and have stepped in to stop assaults in the past; been a long time but I'd do it again if I had to.

Have at it.

Do any of your pets, other than your husband, sleep in the bed with you?

Cats used to, til one of em went on a peeing spree; now they're banned.

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What does being hit in the balls feel like?

It's hard to describe properly.. if it's a really bad hit, you end up curled up in a ball, lying on the ground, nauseated as hell.. it's just this horrid feeling in the bottom of the gut that lingers for awhile. It sort of streaks up into your gut and you just have to kind of stay very still for a bit.

Ending up swollen after is no good either, lemme tell you. Sitting. Very. Carefully.

Have at it.

Do you wear any jewelery day to day?

Constantly? Only my wedding band, and the stuff in my piercings.

Once in awhile I'll wear this hematite pentacle a friend gave me. Sometimes a ring a dear friend who died of HIV gave me, when I feel him around me.

Have at it.