Was the biological mother an egg donor and surrogate? IVF, or? How did you go about the process of having the child conceived and born?

Essentially, it boils down to surrogacy. A favor to us.

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What was the last movie that made you cry?

I actually can't remember.
It's not something that happens much in general... just how I'm wired, I guess. So if I do blow it, it tends to be a bit of a shock.

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What was the last movie that made you laugh?

Iron Man II. Laughing in between all the drool...

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What was the last movie that made you think?

Gangs Of New York. Oh MAAAAAAAN, what a mindfuck.

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don't you think it's mean that you won't let your kid see her mom/

It's actually her decision not to be involved, and that has to be respected.

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You know those kind of protests never actually make a difference right? They just cause damage and give governments a justification to lock up more people

It depends what happens and what it's about. If the point is to raise awareness, it's done it's job.

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Seriously? Even with the tear gas and the rioting you'd want to be there?

I've been arrested, had guns shoved in my face, been teargassed at protests before. If it's worth making a stand about then yes, I'd be there, right in the middle of it.

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What's your take on all the g20 stuff going down at the moment?

I'm just happy people are still out there mad enough to protest.
I was in similar straits when the DNC was in Boston some years ago, with the fenced-off areas and the riot cops, and I was right down in the middle of it.
I'd be in TO right now if my situation allowed it.

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I'm always startled when you make serious references to astrological signs as having some kind of significant meaning towards people's behavior and personalities. Do you really believe all that - well, in my opinion at least - rubbish? Why?

I do it with tongue lightly in cheek -- I don't take it too seriously, but it's fun to use it to describe certain behavior traits and tendencies.

There certainly is a wingnut aspect to astrology and I'm well aware of that contingent. I try to avoid associating with it as much as possible. It can't explain away everything, it has VERY little bearing on how your life will turn out overall, and daily horoscopes are, as you say, complete rubbish.

Howeverrrrrr.

I've seen and experienced enough in nigh-40 years to give a tiny bit of credence to certain aspects of it. When more often than not I can tell someone either their sun sign or rising sign after being around them for half an hour and observing their behavior... there's something to it.
It does give me some small insights into a person's character and I find that useful in how I deal with them. It's one tiny part of the Gestalt of who someone is, that's all.

Perhaps to others, playing with astrology is my "invisible boogums" -- just as I tend to find other people's relation with religion. That's okay with me.

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What advice would you give to TH as a group (on anything)? What would you give advice to each member (on anything)?

This is difficult on a few levels... mostly because it's hard to put oneself in the mindset of giving advice to people you don't know.

I thought about this for a few days, tossed it around a bit.

Overall:

== Do what you need to do for yourselves, to stay sane and still be what you want to be and who you want to be. Whatever that ends up being.

== Be consistent in the public personas you build... yes, they're false fronts to keep some aspects of yourself private and they don't have to be true to life, but keep them consistent or people will notice and tear you apart for it.
I'm looking at you Bill, with your business about leather jackets... and the laughable "We don't drink/do drugs" statement from years ago.

--------

== Tom: Work on your skills. Right now you're a decent rhythm guitarist, you can keep a riff going, but you're in no way what a lead guitarist should be. The little "mini-solos" are a good start -- now get into intensive lessons and be the best you can. You're in an enviable position right now, make the best of it. The Virgo perfectionism should be kicking your arse in right about now.

== Georg: Hold on to your integrity. You're the anchor of the band and anyone with half an eye for these things knows it. You're what holds down their sound; don't let the K's frivolity spin the band off into nothing. This is your one chance -- work it.

== Gustav: Much the same as Georg. You two are the cohesive base for the music; you're the ones with real, tactile skills and the highest talent levels. You'd go on if TH fell apart; any band would be lucky to get a solid rock drummer like you on board. Keep an eye on your own interests, keep improving, and don't be afraid to push for music that lets you show off a little.

== Bill: .......*shakes head* There isn't much I can tell you, because you don't listen to anyone but your brother. I get it, you're a Virgo. I know how you guys work. You get so bound up in your own worlds you forget there's anyone else's point of view out there; or if there is one, it's clearly wrong.
Just come up for air once in awhile and look at the world around you and how you're isolating yourself -- it's not healthy for anyone.
Get back into voice training now, both so you don't have a recurrence and so you can keep improving. Looks are only going to carry you so far; yes, right now they're taking you right to the bank, but you need to consider your long-term options. You have the potential, I can hear it.

...That was a lot for not much to say, wasn't it.

Have at it.

Do you have any friends you keep around just because theyre a trainwreck?

No. Once someone heads down that road, if they were ever truly a friend I'm at least obligated to try and help the situation, and if they weren't then it's no business of mine, I don't care to prey on someone else's misfortunes.

If I do all I reasonably can -- and maybe unreasonably, depending how close they and I ever were -- and nothing comes of it, the destructive behavior and melodramatics continue? I have to walk away.

I've done it a few times already. It never feels good, but there's no place in my life for someone like that who isn't at least -trying- to improve their situation.

I learned this the hard way, of course... don't we all? The emotional and mental drain that this kind of relationship can place is entirely unfair to both the 'wreck in question and the people they affect.

For whatever reason, probably because I have to at least try to help, I've found that the trainwreck types tend to try and get their drama all over me, and that's one of the single fastest ways to find yourself ejected from my personal little corner of the multiverse.

That said... I haven't done this in awhile.

Rules of the J-verse:

-- Do not manufacture drama because you need some attention. There is wayyyy too much legit trouble going on in most of my friends' lives as well as my own for that kind of highschool bullshit.

-- Do not lie about, talk shit or backstab me to others we know, or about others we know to me.
I am a Scorpio. I WILL find out. Odds are I know you're lying before it's even done leaving your mouth/fingers.

-- We all fuck up or hit a low in our choice of behavior sometimes. Some of us more often than others. It happens. Sometimes we're not in a place to affect it right away either. But be aware of it, own it, and acknowledge it needs to be worked on. When not a single thing that goes wrong is ever of your own making, you are making my fingers itch for the clue-by-four.

-- Likewise we all need someone to whinge at sometimes. I'm good at listening, I like to hope I can offer decent advice in most cases. But when it's become a steady presence in the majority of your communication with me, I WILL start dodging you.
I will always listen to a friend who needs an ear for a little bit. I will make that time and do what I can. But I'm not your personal wailing wall either. I can't be.

-- Same with constant, unrelenting negativity.
If you constantly greet me on the phone or AIM with "ugh" or "bleh" instead of "Hi" or "coffee?" or "G'morning" or "Where the fuck have you been?", and most of your conversation is one long complaining session, every. single. time... you are a serious drain, you make my damn head hurt and I'm not going to have much time for you.

-- Think about the last time you talked to me before you start another conversation. Do you ever tell me anything good, do we ever discuss life, the universe, hot musicians and the best lube money can buy -- or do you just go down the list looking for anyone who's available, see my name and hit me up to coredump your latest issues?
Trufax: If I didn't have an interest in talking to you, you wouldn't have my screen name. But when I start feeling like your stand-in therapist, you're going to start getting dodged.

Obviously all of this applies to a constant behavior pattern, not the normal swing of life, you know? We all do this stuff -sometimes-, myself included.

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Is your bed in the middle of the room or at one side

When I have my way, it's pushed into one side corner because I like sleeping against the wall.

Currently it's poking out into the middle of the room because a friend has been staying with us and I gave him my office/workroom to sleep in, so all my shiz got piled into the bedroom and everything had to be rearranged to accommodate.

Slightly cranky on this.

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Is all of the music you listen to digital, or do you still have cds and older?

I still have cassettes and VINYL, nevermind CDs...

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What is your opinion on TH's longevity? Good, bad? Why?

The way I see things, everything is going to ride on their decisions regarding management, labels, representation and contracts.

I hate that it lands so squarely on the "business" side of it but in their case it really does.

Have at it.

Wonderful to get the male perspective on it (KY is another no no in my household - we prefer Wet all the way). LOL on that mental image - that sounds so unhappy times for Mr. Penis. You are totally getting credit on this info when I use it xo

LOL, awesome xD

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So if the character was young and didn't know better and started off with - say KY Jelly - what difference would he notice if someone showed him the 'right stuff'? (and agreed with regular Astroglide - that stuff is banned from my home)

Night and day difference. Water-based goes sticky and awful really fast and doesn't even have a good 'feel' to it if that makes any sense.

It'll get you by in the beginning but once you use something better you look back and go "dear god, how did that _ever_ work..."

Major difference in heat transfer, doesn't break down with friction, big sensitivity difference. Silk versus burlap, seriously.

Also the small matter of if one is uncut.. having something like KY get all tacky-sticky IS NO FUN WHATSOEVER. You really want the TMI mental image? Untangling one's foreskin from around itself because the lube turned into glue = End of happyfuntiems.

Have at it.

For fanfic research purposes (wink) - what do you suggest is the best over-the-counter lube that a guy could use to jerk off with?

Silicone-based, not water-based..

stuff like Wet or Sliquid (or Astroglide X... regular Astroglide is *ugh* water/glycerin based) you can usually find in any city-based drugstore.. not so much in the boonies.

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Love your definition of genderqueer. :) There was some earthquake around here. Did you get it in MA?

Yeah, we had a wobble. Couple office buildings in Boston got evacuated.

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what is a genderqueer?

My personal definition?

Someone who rejects the societal pressure to conform to binary gender standards and does whatever they want with their looks, personality, behavior and mannerisms without giving a shit for "appearing female" or "appearing male". They just are what they are, and if asked "are you male or female?" you may be answered "Yes".

It can all change on any given day depending how they feel, swing to extremes or seem quite mainstream. It's not as simple as boys in eyeliner and heels or girls with binders and packers. Gender identity is a fluid thing here, not fixed.

It can sometimes be part of being trans, but certainly not always - not all genderqueer people have trans issues and are completely comfortable in the bodies they've been given; it's all in how they choose to present themselves.

It also isn't tied to sexuality; genderqueer people can sweep the spectrum from straight to gay and everything in between.

Again, my own definition, others may feel differently. YMMV.

Have at it.

You HAVEN'T seen the new video? You should probably look it up. Like, NOW. You're letting the side down otherwise.

I've seen stills and gifs and an awful lot of talk about it. Just not in the headspace to watch it yet.

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If you had to describe your sex life using just the names of TV shows what would it be?

...I think I'd have to actually watch TV to do this coherently...

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What is the oldest thing you own?

Urhh.. that's hard, I have stuff that belonged to my great-grandparents. No idea on actual age of some of this stuff, well over a century though.

One of the more tangible things is probably my house though; it's around 125 years old :p

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What are your thoughts on Lady Gaga's Alejandro video?

Actually have to admit I haven't watched it yet.

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Have you ever ruined a party? If so, how?

Depends on whether I was the appointed bouncer for said party or not. If I was and you tried to crash it or pulled some other kind of bullshit, I probably did ruin it for you.

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If you could instigate a single change in the world right now, what would it be?

Stop all the hate, on every front and every issue.

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does your child have any contact with her mother

No, she's not in the picture.

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Anything else likely to get you all nerd-raged up?

Don't even TALK to me about the GI Joe movie.

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I sense a little tiny bit of nerd rage here...

Leeeeeeetle bit.

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What would you have done different about the Transformers movies?

Well, I was the dorky guy who read and collected the comics in the 80s, I would have liked to see it be a little more canon instead of little nods here and there to those of us who knew the history.

Also, less product placement FFS. And action we could actually WATCH instead of everything going too fast to tell wtf was going on.

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Surely there are some good 80's cartoon movies. What about Transformers?

I'm so-so about the Bay version of Transformers. I liked the animated movie better.

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sad to say, they have totally murdered our childhood. and looted the corpses thoroughly. *sigh*

Kind of like the second Highlander movie. If I refuse to acknowledge it, it doesn't exist in my universe. Now where's my towel...

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Did you also here that they want to make a remake of back to the future? Zac Effron might get a lead role

OH HELL NO.

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You know they're making a Thundercats movie, right?

I saw. Too much ONTD.

I kind of blame Thundercats for the onset of furries in my generation. But back then don't even lie, we all wanted to be that goddamn cool...

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What do you think about the fact that every other 80's cartoon is getting made into a movie?

STOP MURDERING MY CHILDHOOD

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Do you get distracted by shiny things?

Depends on your definition of "shiny"... and also your definition of "distracted" I suppose...

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What first caught your eye about TH?

Dead honest truth? Blame it on AFI. Back in 2006, I saw a picture of them somewhere and Bill reminded me of a younger glam-Davey.

Figured "what the hell" and poked around, listened to their music, thought "oh hey, I like this, there's potential there..." and it kind of went from there.

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Do you have a favorite misheard Afi lyric?

I tend to avoid "mondegreens" as they're called.. I don't like stuff that gets stuck in my head and wrecks a song for me.

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Apparently, google is hard work. Better question: Read any good fic lately?

I actually haven't been, because I want my head quiet for finishing this chapter of Aftermath. Other influences just mess me up...

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What is a cockring for?

Well, if you're Bill, they're for hanging off your beltloop...

But otherwise? Keeping the blood engorgement in the penis, mostly.

Can't go soft so easily with something physically hindering the blood leaving the tissue. Also can increase the sensitivity for some guys.

...You could Google this, you know...

Have at it.

Which do you prefer, knitting or crocheting and why?

It's probably bad that this gets the same answer as most of the sex questions.. "Depends what I'm doing...."

Crocheting is faster, so if I'm being impatient or need something done quickly I appreciate it more. But it also uses half again as much yarn as knitting AND the patterns aren't interchangeable.

Knitting uses less yarn and often has a more "polished" look to it, but takes longer.

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do you have friends your closer to then family?

"You're" is the contraction of "you are", and "than" is the word you want here.

And yes. I've got "chosen family" who're closer than half the people related to me by blood will ever be.

Have at it.

In my experience, size matters, but not in the way people think it would. I've found that small to average sized penises feel a lot better and much more comfortable than huge ones. Would you agree with this?

Like I said.. depends what you're doing; but as far as penetrative intercourse goes? Yeah, agreed. That old line about size not being as important as skill is dead on, whether the size queens out there want to admit that or not.

Maybe someone else isn't satisfied unless someone's shoving something the size of a beer can into their preferred orifice; cool for them if that's what they're into, but me, I prefer technique and finesse.

I'm aware they're not mutually exclusive either, but it's rare. Like the well-hung guys who sometimes seem to think just because it's enormous, they don't need to actually learn to do much with it.

Or it works the other way around, and guys who're perfectly within average range or smaller pick up more in the way of technique because they think they have to compensate.

Have at it.

I figured as much. Nice to hear a guy actually admit that for once :p

Getting all torn up is not my idea of a good time.

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Are there situations where size really doesn't matter at all?

Of course.

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On a scale of 1 to 10, how much does size matter?

Depends entirely on what you're doing...

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Dude, anyone who's gonna get all up in your grill for finding someone in a band attractive is a twat. And probably a hypocrite. Fandom, grah. :( What's your favourite scent? :D

You can probably imagine the kinds of things I've been accused of for even being into their music in the first place. Worst incident was on a music board that had nothing to do with TH, for that matter...

Favorite scent... oh man.
I'm actually pretty highly attuned to scent, so it's impossible to say just one; it's synaesthetic to a degree for me - scents are emotions and colors and sensations, not just something in the air.

Conventionally?

Evergreen forest in summer.
Or woodsmoke and fallen leaves in fall. Rain in the soil in spring. The edge of snow coming in on the wind in winter.

On someone?

Their own. (clean, or freshly sweaty, that can be nice too...)


(...but I have this tiiiiiiiiiiny little weakness for vanilla-musk.... shh.... )

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So, life without risk? Nothing. Now cough up the info about the band

Yet you don't risk putting your name to this... interesting.

Maybe I will, maybe I won't.

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I know you're spiritual, not religious, but where do you feel you fit on the spectrum of spirituality? Which organized religion do you identify most with?

None of the organized ones at all. I'm a bit of a mystic, a bit of a pagan, but I'm a complete atheist.

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What is life without risk? Admit it.

Nothing.

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If you could be born again would choose to be a different sex to what you are? Why? What about if you were born intersexed?

I wouldn't want to be anything but what I am. This is me. Though being inter would fit better with being genderqueer in appearance I suppose... assuming everything still worked correctly that might be really cool.

Have at it.

Definitely go there.

I dunno man, it's risky territory. I've been called some pretty vile things just for acknowledging they're good looking guys.

Have at it.

Definitely go there.

I dunno man, it's risky territory. I've been called some pretty vile things just for acknowledging they're good looking guys.

Have at it.

Physically attacked? What the fuck? I hope he walked away worse off.

Middle of a crosswalk in a busy intersection. Cop got him off me before I could finish it myself.

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Are you attracted to Bill, or is he too feminine? Which of the TH members do you find most attractive, and for what reasons?

oh god. should I even go here?

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Have you gotten a lot of shit from religious zealots? How do you combat their ignorance and/or hatred?

Quite a bit over the years. I've been physically attacked by a man claiming to be acting on behalf of Jesus... somehow I'm really not sure that's WJWD, buddy.

I just find it sad, mostly. There's really not much anyone can do to change the perceptions of people like that unless they're open to it, and some of them just aren't.

On the flip side, I know and have known several extremely religious people who somehow manage to keep the hate and bigotry out of their faith, and they're some of the most beautiful people I know.

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Drinking straight from the carton - ok, or seriously not kosher?

Depends what it is, and if you have a cold sore...

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Why do some people find other people's happiness so offensive?

Religion makes ya stupid, in a majority of cases. Not all, mind. But a sad majority.

Have at it.

I hope you realize that you are not actually married. It is disturbing and troubling that you would take a sacred act and use the term to describe the nest of filth in which you live.

Check again. Sanctioned by the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, sweet cheeks, not your church or temple or other assorted imaginary friends.

You may also want to check up on that whole "separation thereof" thing a bit more closely, while you're reading.

Consensual love is sacred in itself; it's really rather sad it frightens you so. Get some help, will you? It's got to be a really depressing way of life, thinking the way you do...

Have at it.