I don't even understand how I ended up stumbling across your formspring [totally didn't know you had one until today] but you are even more amazing of a person than I even thought possible.

aw bb <3 lol i don't know why but ok...

Have at it.

it makes sense. I was anticipating you not being entirely comfortable. there is something in the mail for you. it is being forwarded through some friends to maintain anonymity. if all goes to plan you should receive it late this week or early next week

...Just tell me this isn't some variant on a prelude to a suicide or something.
Sorry if that seems morbid; I've just seen something like it before, someone giving away all they had before taking their leave.
My friend Michael's ring came to me that way. I know you're keeping anon but... this isn't that kind of thing, is it?

Have at it.

my intention was never to upset you or cause you any stress. I am not trying to buy you or manipulate you in any way. if that was the case, I would not have taken the care to remain anonymous.

I know... it's flattering that there's someone out there worrying enough to even talk about something like this, whether it ever became reality or not.

I guess I'm just not used to that either, and thereby I've no idea how to react in a way that accurately reflects how I'd feel about it. Does that even make sense?

Have at it.

you'd be surprised what you don't know. some of us can spare more than you think just by being a little less profligate

profligate... now there's a word I haven't seen in awhile.

the whole idea still spooks me though.

Have at it.

Would you rather have a fairy godmother, genie, or guardian angel? Annnnd, why?

Not a djinn. Too tricksy. Don't believe in angels, so I guess that's out too.
Fitting how that leaves me with a fairy godmother...

Have at it.

reasons and motives are simple, you need something that I won't be worse off without

I don't know too many people who can spare more than a couple bucks in general, so this just continues to make me nervous.

Have at it.

what if say the cash came with a note telling you to put it toward something specific like keeping your house?

At least then I'd have a narrower field of people to suspect, since I know who I've spoken to about that and who I haven't. I'd still set it aside until I knew more about the situation, the reasons and motives, all of that. I couldn't in good conscience take it if it would put the person it came from in a worse situation than I'm in already, if that makes any sense. It'd just keep chewing on me.

Have at it.

what if it was a lot of cash, like $1000 or more?

Definitely be reeeeaaalllllyyyyyy sketched out not knowing who or why. I'd put it aside at first until I figured out what was going on before I spent a dime of it, in a case like that.

Have at it.

if someone sent you cash anonymously what would you do?

Be very bewildered, and likely a bit uncomfortable, but I've got too many goddamned medical bills to complain too loudly so I'd throw it at one of them (or at getting some heating oil into the house) and then set about trying to figure out where it came from and why so I could pay it back when I had the means. Or like, knit them something if they didn't want it paid back, or some such thing.

Have at it.

What was the last album you played in full?

Oof, that's a toughie, since I almost always have iTunes on shuffle...

AFI - Crash Love, in the car.

Have at it.

How do you feel about virginity and the heterosexism to go with it? (PIV "counts", anal and oral don't, etc.) Do you believe in virginity? What does it signify to you?

I've always felt it's a personal thing and different for everyone as to what they consider "losing their virginity", especially since for many people if they were to simply count their first sexual contact it would mean having "given it" to an abuser.

Personally, I feel it's an emotional choice, not a physical one.

Have at it.

Hello, I'd like to meet other fans from other countries. I accept all questions but I agree especially those related to Tom, Gustav, Georg and Bill basically related to Tokio Hotel. I always respond to questions. :-)

hallo from Massachusetts...

Have at it.

How old is TOO old to date someone else?

I think that's only really an issue when you're dealing with teenagers and their individual levels of emotional maturity, and that's really got to be dealt with on a case by case basis.

That said? There is definitely a problem when someone -under- 15 is seeing someone -over -19. And I don't just mean legally.

Have at it.

If you watched the last episode of Glee, what did you think about it's heavily religious content? If not, what is your opinion of popular culture dealing with heavy content like religion, God, and how churches can alienate segments of society?

I don't have cable TV. Spooky, eh?

I don't know, it seems like pop culture never seems to get it right when dealing with anything regarding religion. Can't ever find a balance.

Have at it.

Dry cleaning! Thank you, knew I'd forgotten something. Taking down modern civilization is hard.

Also, oil change for the Subaru.

Have at it.

Do you think that your personality comes across the same way online as in RL?

As far as I'm told, it's pretty similar.

Have at it.

Do you have a spare copy of the gay agenda I can borrow? I seem to have lost mine....

1. Pick up dry cleaning
2. Buy cat food
3. Continue to fight for the simple rights and courtesies automatically granted the straight world...

Have at it.

What do you think about websites that only list gender as "male" or "female"?

Gender binary is for the stupid and small-minded.

Have at it.

I think the reason I see you in that way is because you've been through some of the worst things, but you can bounce back, not the same, but better than you were. You've survived shit I know a lot of people could never cope with, myself included.

You don't know what you can cope with until you have to. For varied definitions of "coping".

Have at it.

Probably dumb question, but do you think early trauma has made us smarter? Like, maybe it's not coincidence we are like we are. Maybe having to be on alert all the time and constantly thinking and processing has left us functioning way above average

There's been studies done to that effect; not so much that it makes us smarter but it makes us utilize what we've got to a much greater extent.

Have at it.

What is your favorite AFI lyric?

It changes all the time, but the most constant is from Malleus Maleficarum. Probably the one song that told me they were a band to stick with, back then...


Open my eyes as I submerge
and I won't deny what I've been since birth.
I'll die drowned by your standards.

...with glowing pride I'll wear my scars.
I'm honoured by your hatred.



Though I'm also having "Recognize one silent call" added to my lyric sleeve when I have the cash to get inked again.

Have at it.

Totally fits you! Not really a question, but I just wanted to say that you embody a lot of positive aspects of Scorpio to me. You know how Scorpio can be represented by an Eagle/Phoenix? I've always see you as the phoenix, rising up from the worst.

Scorpio symbolism is odd that way, isn't it. The multiple representations seem to go along with the fact that out of all the signs we seem most closely defined by which phase we're in, e.g. how different a Phase I Scorp is from a Phase III. Thanks, though it seems a little odd to me, I've never seen myself that way.

Have at it.

Favorite song by Ours?

Fallen Souls.

Have at it.

Being rude doesn't help, no, but that doesn't mean all of us possess the ability to take that step back. I don't think I could.

Too many years of being an activist, I guess. No matter how good it would feel to just cut loose on someone, it won't further the cause or help them understand any better.

Have at it.

you're a very extraordinary man :)

*laughs a little* I'm just me. But thank you, I'm flattered you think so...

Have at it.

I'm a girl & think I like my best girl friend as more than just a friend. I've never considered myself as bisexual, but I really love her. I can't imagine being this close with anyone else. Am I just blowing friendship out of proportion? What should I do?

Heh, this is certainly a classic tale, common enough to hear. It's hard to tell just from a situation like this exactly what's going on though.

Don't invalidate how you feel by questioning it as blowing it out of proportion, if you're feeling like this goes beyond friendship for you then maybe it does. It's something nobody but you can answer, in the end, and that can take a lot of thinking.

You may not fit under any of the convenient labels out there; not necessarily bi. Maybe you're primarily straight but this is the one person you could go outside that for. Maybe you're omni- or pansexual - it just depends on the person, not their bits, as far as what you're attracted to.

Do you think it's reciprocated at all? Would it drive you apart if you told her, or she caught on? More to consider.

It sounds like you have a lot of thinking to do, I don't envy you that. It's not easy.

Good luck...

Have at it.

I'm struggling hard with coming out to my parents. I've hinted at it before and I could feel how disappointed they would be about it. Do you have any advice? I know they will still love me, but I am so scared they will think of me differently.

I think timing is everything in cases like this.
Depending on where you are in life right now... are you dependent on them still for anything? Will it put your living situation or school funding in jeopardy?

More to the point, I tend to advise that it's a question of "do they need to know right now?".

I'm not necessarily an advocate of coming out just to come out, if that makes sense.
"The closet" is a social construct in and of itself, and you're not necessarily in it just because you're not proclaiming your sexuality publicly. You are who you are regardless of who knows it. A person doesn't have to announce it to be any more "legit"...

Do you have a significant other they're apt to find out about? Are they pressuring you about "finding someone", trying to hook you up with someone you're not attracted to? If there's no reason to tell them right now, it can wait.

When there IS a reason -- then you think about timing, how to approach them with it, how you want it to play out. Have a backup plan in your head in case things really go south - somewhere else safe to stay for the night, if you still live with them, for example.

Be ready for the backlash you may get, the questions they may ask you, the usual accusations of it being "just a phase" or that "you're just confused" or "haven't found the right person yet" - play it out in your mind, figure out how you'll deal with these things and how you want to answer. Will they tell you to go to church or see a shrink? How will you answer that?
And of course there's always the likelihood that it won't go like anything you expect... but having played out the possibilities in your head beforehand can help a lot.

I'm sorry to hear that they'd likely react poorly; that's a hell of a thing to have hanging over your head, and I'm betting it's a source of stress to you as well. If and when you do tell them, I do recommend giving them some info about PFLAG, (Parents, Families & Friends of Lesbians and Gays -- and they've newly added support for transfolk as well ) so they have some resources to turn to in getting to acceptance themselves.

PFLAG.org Get Support: http://community.pflag.org/Page.aspx?pid=209

DM me on twitter if you want to talk more about it, or just need to vent at someone for a bit. I hope any of this helps.

Have at it.

I don't think there's anything wrong with being so upset even someone *can't* relate. Some people feel compassion/empathy more strongly than others, and what if everyone brushed things off as 'no big deal' or 'not my problem'? Nothing would ever change :(

There's a certain segment of the population that -does- take things too far, reacting to something like this for the sake of Being Dramatic rather than an actual empathetic response; but these are the people that take anything like this, tragic things happening to other people, and make it about themselves instead. I'm sure you recognize the type I'm talking about.

But in a more reasonable light, what you say is exactly true. If nobody cared, nothing would change. If nobody was ever moved by things happening to people they didn't know... that's a terrifying thought, isn't it?

Have at it.

It's ok if your impolite, I'm just not sure why it's such a big deal. People commit suicide all the time but you seem to have taken these quite personally.

Can you grasp the concept of feeling a loss much closer when it's members of your particular community killing themselves BECAUSE they're part of that group, BECAUSE they were made to feel like death was their best option specifically because of who they were, when that's who I am too?

Exchange "They killed themselves because of harassment they faced for being [gay]" with [black] [hispanic] [disabled] or anything else you're born into being with no choice in the matter. Does it make more sense now, if you put one of your own groups in those brackets, that you lost that many young people in the space of a week because they are what you are, you might feel it a bit more closely?

If that makes no sense to you, I'm afraid I can't help you.

Have at it.

"Why does the recent set of suicides upset you so hard? You didn't know any of those kids or anything." -- It is about the reason they committed suicide. It could've been prevented. It isn't about knowing them, it is about WHY it happened.

exactly. it's because each one of those boys were part of my culture, my existence, and because they died because they couldn't face being what they were. what we are. how do I NOT take that personally?

Have at it.

...Wow, @ Anon. I applaud your restraint.

Being rude won't help explain..... -_-;;

Have at it.

Why does the recent set of suicides upset you so hard? You didn't know any of those kids or anything. I'm not trying to criticise or anything I'm just wondering why it's so bad

...I have no idea how to answer this coherently without veering into being impolite, so I'm just going to leave it.

Have at it.

I've been thinking, and from what I have seen/lived the Hispanic community might not be physically violent towards LGBT persons, because they're different towards the community as a whole, but they do shun them or they skirt around the "problem."

[reposting the rest of it] They act as if though they're "confused", not taken seriously. In short I think they isolate them. I still don't understand it but I think it's the same as physical violence :(

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

you make a really good point; emotional attacks and "emotional violence" can be just as destructive as physical in its own way, maybe moreso since it's so much more insidiious.

Have at it.

do you believe in angels

No.

Have at it.

I thought you'd duck that question

Says the person asking anonymously...

Have at it.

What's your favorite thing to sing in the car?

depends entirely on mood and where my mind is at. Of late 'The Sky & I' is on heavy rotation though. GNNHHHHH.

Have at it.

Say, theoretically, ducks can appreciate baseball. Which team do you think they'd prefer?

wait, the Mighty Ducks are hockey, aren't they?

Have at it.

What's your middle initial?

now there's a truly random question.... why on earth would you want to know this one??

Have at it.

How do you handle a bad day?

Car. Fresh pack of cigs. Mix CD. Get on the freeway and drive the limit, volume all the way up, singing as loud as I can until my voice is gone.

Have at it.

How old were you when you started dating? What about when you had your first proper boyfriend?

Fifteen, for both.

Have at it.

That is a pretty gigantic compromise. :\

He's worth it.

Have at it.

How do you feel about all of the LGBTQ suicides lately? If you could say anything to those who have killed themselves in these past few weeks, what would you say to them?

gutted. completely fucking gutted.

wish I could tell them there's safe places to go, that this didn't have to be the way. that it didn't have to come to that. yeah, it wouldn't have been easy at first. but no matter how bad their family or social situations were... there was somewhere else to go besides death.

Have at it.

That's a really big compromise. Is there a good side to being a parent for you?

There's a lot of pride in seeing her grow up, in being her "Da". We have a nighttime ritual before she goes to bed, when it's warm enough to anyway... she and I hang out on the back deck and talk, about whatever's on her mind. In spring we listen to the peepers, in summer we watch the fireflies and the brown bats flying around the yard, in fall we listen for the owls. It's just hers and mine, that time, and knowing she actively seeks it out.. there's a certain honor in that. My parents were dubious, knowing my views on ever having a family, but they backed me up and that helped a lot.

Have at it.

Not even a sketch outline? Like, everyone knows how babies are made, and so for the two of you to wind up with one there has to be a story behind it. Like, you said it was a compromise. So, did he want a kid and you didn't or something?

Essentially, yes, that's the gist of it.

Have at it.

no delicate way to ask this but just how did you two wind up with a kid?

It's more his story to tell, not mine, and he's chosen not to talk about it online. Thus neither do I.

Have at it.

If we were meeting for the very first time, what would we do, and how would you greet me? :)

Go clubbing in Boston, deffo. xD

Have at it.

How short would your life have to be before you would start living differently today?

Not sure what you're asking here... like, "you have a month to live, what're you changing" or more like a Babylon5 scenario when you know you have 20 years left regardless of anything else so what do you do with them...

I never know how to answer these questions, since in my current situation all the things I'd like to do I can't do anyway because I'm waiting on this spinal surgery bullshit and we're completely fucking broke as a result. There's not a lot I COULD do differently.

Have at it.

then it was a better idea then i thought. honestly you deserve it.

I don't know why... but thank you <3 it was a desperately needed bright spot in a nasty few days.

Have at it.

Before you had Imp, did you ever think you'd be a father?

No. I was always fairly actively against ever becoming a parent at all after the shit I'd been through growing up, I didn't care for the idea of bringing another person into this world and having to try and guide them through all of that when I'm still a short-circuit myself a lot of the time. All the sociopolitical failures, the ecological nightmare we're creating, the way humans treat each other... none of it seemed like anything I wanted to bring another human being into.

Nevermind the spectre of having grown up with "two mommies" myself in the 70s and 80s and how that fucked with my life, and not wanting another kid to have the same social bullshit with having "two daddies".

But there are compromises you make in a relationship, and so it happened, and I'm doing the best I can with her. It's still terrifying. We're lucky to have the support of our parents and a lot of good friends in raising her -- her "Aunties" who can give her the feminine influences and insight when she wants them are absolutely vital. We'd be completely fucked without their help, advice, presence and patience.

There are a lot of nights I'm kept awake with the "what the hell am I doing??..." cycle of thoughts, especially as she's hitting adolescence, all the pre-teen drama, worrying for her safety and sanity.
I joke about being the stereotypical dad cleaning his guns on the porch, but the truth is I'm not all that far from really being that.

Have at it.

good to see you got your mail. nice to see you smile. i worry about you.

-=HUGS=- I seriously had no hope of ever getting hold of that thing either...

Have at it.